No picture today. Not sure what I would take a picture of anyway, other than my growing pile of smelly laundry, which I'm currently washing.
I knew there was going to be a low point in this undertaking, but after yesterday's poopie in the potty, I was hoping (and praying) that it was already behind us...not so.
Today I'm feeling very low on top of feeling a fair amount of self-loathing.
Flying high after yesterday's score on the Potty side, I decided to treat myself to going to bookclub and sit for two hours and talk with girlfriends about a book, instead of staring at Gus' behind and talking about Poopoo and peepee.
It felt great, but I immediately regretted it after coming home to the news that Gus had yet again managed to poop another load into his undies while Daddy wasn't watching.
On top of that, Gus didn't stay dry throgh the night, although I think he awoke from the need to pee this morning and quickly got up to fetch me, but he had already wetted his pyjamas as well as his pillow (how to you launder a pillow?)
To make matters worse (at least in my poopie obsessed mind) Gus squirmed around all afternoon - from 2 to almost 4 p.m. - while I followed him around like a love-sick puppie, only to end up planting a poopie on our livingroom carpet, while I snuck a 5-minute look at my e-mail.
I'm trying hard to not feel frustrated about all this right now, but I do feel like I'm not gaining the upper hand and Gus is simply getting better at waiting for his moment, instead of figuring out how to sit on the potty and get his business done.
So we'll forge on. I'm already getting friendly with the idea that this poopie immersion thing will continue into a second week (I might keep him home from preschool or we might try to go on without diapers, while he goes to school, I'll figure out the details by Sunday) and I'm not extatic about that.
Deep inside I was hoping that Gus is ready, is smart enough and wants to do this, but maybe I'm just kidding myself.
As for the Autism bit of this, there are plenty of horror stories out there of boys (and girls) who are still in diapers at 9, 11 or even later in life. I'm so determined to make sure Gus stays within an acceptable timeframe and does not go to kindergarten in a diaper.
He will have enough to overcome once he goes to school - I can't bare the thought that diapers will set him even further apart from everyone else.
Can you tell I'm down on myself right now? What was I gaining by checking my e-mail? Well, spending two aimless hours (not in play mind you) circling around 2 seconds with one toy or activity or another is tiresome, and I was simply looking for a bit of distraction.
And distraction I got. From now on I'm only texting, making and taking calls, and spending time on the computer when Gus is down for his nap. I'm not giving him another split-second to do his sneaky thing.